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Slapping, On the proper time for

Do not slap people in the face, just do not do it whether you are male or female, young or old, there are very few times when it is appropriate to do so and you will probably never be in a situation where it is acceptable action. Slapping not only hurts, but it can also create real emotional scars for both the slap-ee and the slapper. Anyhoo appropriate times for slapping are the following:

  1. You have written & signed consent from the other person, stating that they want to be slapped1.
  2. There is a large carnivorous insect on the other person's face.
  3. You are a character on a daytime soap opera.
  4. The other person needs to wake up or they will be late for their super important Calc II final.
  5. You are a character in a Japanese flash game.
  6. You are challenging the other person to a duel2.
  7. That is it, there are no more good reasons to slap someone.

Also as a final word of caution remember that in polite society any slap, punch, push, or fist bump may be construed as a challenge so be sure to keep your hands to yourself at fancy parties.

  1. Violence is always best when it is consensual. [↩]
  2. Proper duel challenging should always be done with a glove and not one's bare hands. [↩]

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 at 11:00 pm and is filed under .