Fair Warning

On October 20th 1871, a little under two years after the completion of the first transcontinental railroad was another historic event, the first transcontinental punch to the face. Delivered by Joseph "Toothless Joey" Holden to Stephen "Steve" Stevenson Jr. this was the longest distance land-based punch¹ on record. Since that day the field of distanced punching has flourished, creating competitions, festivals, and various folk anthems.

You too can become a real folk hero by delivering your own distance punches; Just follow these simple steps:

1. Choose your target.
2. Clench your fist and keep it in a fist.
3. Travel to your target.
4. Confront the punch-ee².
5. Punch the punch-ee in the face.

You might want to start training with distances of a few miles, as keeping your hand clenched into a fist can be difficult for those new to distance punching. Work on progressively increasing your punching distance until you feel confident with the cross-country punches. Once you feel confident find someone worth spending hundreds of dollars to punch and then go ahead and do it!

Happy Punching!

1. At the time the record for longest punch was held by Benjamin Franklin. [↩]
2. Good form dictates that you make sure your punch-ee is conscious and alive before you break their face. [↩]

This entry was posted on Friday, January 30th, 2009 at 11:30 am and is filed under .